No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea… you never get that tea
I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read “Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water”. And I couldn’t help thinking, she should move
I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn’t understand.
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
My dad’s dying wish was to have his family around him. I can’t help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen
If we’re all God’s children, what’s so special about Jesus?
My father always used to say, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” – ’til the accident.
Have you seen the adverts with the guy that goes: Every time I click my fingers an African child dies? I watched those, and couldn’t help thinking, “well stop clicking your fingers!
I grew up in Slough in the 1970s.If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s… go there now.
I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow… children. That can’t be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can’t read it.
Boxers don’t have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don’t fancy each other.
Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.
